How We Broke Up...

Going from physical to virtual to then back to physical, it puts into perspective how much media can easily control a person's life. It becomes this greater routine where it seems normal and unquestioned to have certain behaviors. When asking people today 'What is the first thing that you do when you wake up?' most will respond that they check their phones. When asking people today, 'What is the last thing you do before going to bed?' most will respond with checking their phones. It is the first and last things we do in our everyday lives. Not even counting the numerous times when people go on their phones to avoid in-person interactions, our phones have become more than just a device. They are the electrical embodiment of a lifeline (https://www.textrequest.com/blog/how-much-time-people-spend-mobile-phones-2017/). It's crazy to see how in my lifetime alone, the role of phones has increased so dramatically.

What once used to be the milestone of getting a bike has now become the milestone of getting a phone (https://www.businessinsider.com/silicon-valley-parents-raising-their-kids-tech-free-red-flag-2018-2). For me, this was age 12, and I couldn't have been happier. It was a tangible item that made me feel like I fit in. The socially awkward and introverted version of me had a way of hiding behind a screen. At first the effects were pretty harmless. The phone was for games to pass the time and providing me with instant entertainment. But as I got into middle school, social media became a larger factor. Keeping up by 'keeping streaks' every morning was added to that greater routine of everyday life. 

But then there was one moment where I took a step back and asked myself why. Why did I have to keep sending photos of random things in the morning?  It originally came from a place of laziness and that this task began feeling more and more like a chore. So I deleted SnapChat and haven't looked back. 

High school then came soon after, and there were moments when I found myself blinding scrolling through Instagram. An untouched pile of books and paper looming next to me. It was just one big distraction. See at this point, I didn't post often. Posting more than once a year was a rare occurrence. Instagram was more used to pass the time and catch up on what's going on in other people's life. What began as catching up on people's lives turned into randomly ending up on cat and crash videos. There's nothing wrong with watching those videos, but being on the app for so long just got in the way of my responsibilities. I also missed out on a lot of time that could have been spent with my family and friends. 

After running into this same long train of thought over and over again, I decided it was time to delete this app as well. I've only ever had two platforms of social media: SnapChat and Instagram. This would then make me social media free. For a short while after, I ran into the situation of opening my phone with the intention of going on Instagram and finding it not to be there. It was almost automatic of my thumb tapping on where the app icon used to be. 

Something that commonly crosses my mind is if I want it back. Almost everyone has it and spends lots of time on it, but I learned that it wasn't right for me. People would be hanging out in the same area but in their own separate digital worlds. Personally, I feel that if I'm going to spend time with someone then I want to spend time with the person not simultaneously multi-tasking my conversation and what's happening on their phone. 

This was the greatest commitment I had at the time, and things just didn't work out. It wasn't the media, it was me. I wasn't working. I needed to love myself before I could love something else. I needed time for me. I enjoyed the time I spent on there, but all good things must come to an end (https://www.scoopwhoop.com/brutal-breakup-lines/#.e44vbhces).